Dear Colonel Clearwater:

    I dropped my car off at Clearwater Auto Repair on Hercules this morning - by the way, Steve is a great mechanic [see ad at bottom of page -ed.].  Anyway, I cross the street and sit on a bench, waiting for the bus in a light rain.  I look up the street and see a guy coming towards me on a bicycle.  He's got a long pole leaning up out of his basket with some kind of stiff wavy flag or banner thing hanging off to the side.

     When  he reaches me, he stops.  He's wearing a baseball cap with the word "Jesus" embroidered on the front.  He points to the mud and starts swearing like a sailor,  "God D*** mud.  You think the God D*** politicians would pay for a God D*** sidewalk.  They spent God D*** millions to build a God D*** stadium, but nothing for a God D*** sidewalk." I try to acknowledge him, but he's not listening.  "God D*** blah, blah," etc....I see the bus coming, so I stand up to get on.  Then he starts pedaling the bike on down the road and his "flag" hits me on the shoulder.  It was made of metal! 

     He apologizes and moves on.  I realize the pole and protuberance  are a representation of a scythe. A buddy later told me he's seen this guy standing on street corners with his scythe, wearing a black robe.

     You know it's gonna be a good day when you're tapped on the shoulder with a scythe and the Grim Reaper says "Sorry, I didn't mean to touch you."  

                                                                                            Name withheld by request.

Dear Mr. Withold:

     That sounds like quite an experience!  I researched the source you provided and was surprised to learn it was true.    Nevertheless - don't you people ever check your calendars? Today is April Fools Day."

                                                                                               Colonel Clearwater



 Photo of Jeanette Montilla by Tiki Parrot



Theakston Old Peculier

Review by Kody Moe

     This brew from the United Kingdom is full bodied and smooth.  It has a great look, taste, color and feel.   The ale is dark and when held up to the widow, appears a ruddy red in the sunlight.   

     Old Peculier - the British spelling of "peculiar" - has a perfectly balanced malt to hop ratio resulting in tartness tempered with the taste of brown sugar.  Drining this old ale is a pleasant experiene.

     A lot of the ale from this part of the world comes across as food - full bodied and filling.  This gem is medium - bodied and glides down smoothly, pint after pint.   The carbonation is adequate without tickling your nose or inducing sneezing.

       I give it our highest rating, five stars.