The Clearwater Sun - Smallest of the World's Leading Newspapers
Established 1914
Clearwater's Oldest Newspaper
clearwat
Ask Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What do you think of my idea?
Question authority! That was one of the motto of my generation. It was good advice then and it is good advice now.
But now the times they have been a changin' and there needs to be a corollary to this motto if what is to learn how to follow a path to truth and hopefully justice.
The new motto should add: Question Chicken Little!
For those not of my ge-ge-generation, Chicken Little was a fable character who constantly warned the other chickens that "The sky is falling!"
It never fell. Today, too many people believe and spread around news that is alarming, frightening, and for the most part not true.
Yesterday I received a post on Facebook which included such statements as: "Fluoride calcifies the pineal gland...", "Fluoride is so toxic that it considered Hazardous Waste by the EPA."
It showed a picture of Hitler and wrote, "Hitler fluoridated the water in the concentration camps to sedate the prisoners." and Fluoride is the same ingredient in rat poison and Prozac."
And the icing on the cake was the question, "So why does the American Government force-feed it to their citizens?"
Gee whiz Chicken Little, are we all slowly dying because of fluoride rat poisoning that we drink everyday because the American government is treating us like Hitler treated people in his camps?
Chicken Little has made it clear to us that the people we trust with our lives and safety are actually trying to slowly kill us.
The real poison here are the ideas that no one is to be trusted, that our government is trying to poison us, that we live like concentration camp prisoners, and your pineal gland will harden like a rock if you brush your teeth with Pepsodent!
The whole message is one that attempts to create fear, distrust, anguish, and easily leads one to hate others.
Question Chicken Little!
When I received this my mind ran down my personal "Yahoo checklist." This is my list of things to look out for in alarming messages.
The first thing is "Is the message written with correct grammar and spelling." This one, which seems so simple, is the first sign.
The alarming message was not just someone's message, it was put together with background and pictures. And there were errors.
If someone writes things personally typos and misspellings are common and no big deal.
But when someone puts together a box message with graphics they are putting more of an effort into it.
So if they put time into constructing something AND there are typos and grammatical errors then the person is probably not educated enough to make a sound judgment on the topic. Sad, blunt, but true.
Next, are there links to other sites? This may seem like it is what should be done, but it more often a give away that the author wants you to think that his science or history is authentic.
In this particular case I checked the site and as I thought it was baloney.
The link to the Hitler information mentioned that Hitler used fluoride on the prisoners and that communists planned to poison America with fluoride.
Since I was not hatched yesterday I was familiar with the statement (no proof, just a statement) about the communist poisoning us.
It was old Cold War propaganda put out by lunatic-fringe groups in the 1950s.
And as far as Hitler there was no source or evidence given other than a statement made by someone.
As far as the statements about fluoride being poison and is included in rat poison, I do not know a lot about chemistry. But I know enough about chemistry to know that a chemical by itself may be poisonous but not poisonous when in a compound with other chemicals. Nitro glycerin is a good example. By themselves they are harmless, but together...look out!
If fluoride is part of the combination of chemicals which make up rat poison, this doesn't mean it, by itself or in combination with different chemicals, is poisonous.
And since I've been drinking fluorinated water since the 1950s (I'm told water is used in making Coca-Cola) I suspect it hasn't turned my pineal gland into the Rock of Gibraltar or I think I would have noticed it.
There are other common sense things for which to beware, most notably, scientific studies. When someone says a study says this or that, realize that studies do not say anything. Studies just show the results of test. What the results show can be interpreted many ways. So always watch out for that one.
But most importantly, always realize that when someone is trying to make you believe that other people are sinister and out to do you harm, but these people are those who day in and day out work and keeping our society functioning, realize that you have before you Chicken Little.
And always question Chicken Little!
Sincerely,
John Ruane
Dear John,
As you may or may not know, Aids was caused by a CIA experiment that went terribly bad.
When I read that, like you with flouride, I became skeptical. Here's a tool I find helpful. First, I use the search engine Googol. (Lightyears ahead of Webcrawler [AOL] and Bing [too many annoying links inserted into the text]). Then enter the most important word or words as your search term. In this case: AIDS. Then, in quotes enter words from the message which stand out. Here, I entered "sponsered by the CIA". The quotes keep the phrase as a single unit so you don't get the word CIA every time it's been used.
The Snopes Report is the first hit. Snopes has not been 100% balls-on accurate, but it's pretty good. Here it explains the falsehood of the CIA lab error.
So, to answer your question, I think your idea is pretty good. But you should be aware that the story of Chicken Little is not a "fable character." While he did say "The sky is falling" quite a bit, this was only because he had difficulty making contact the his agent provocateur whose actual physical appearance had changed over the years. That's one of the difficulties of using a mole.
The mission, which has now been largely covered up in concert with an out-of-town movie studio, was to determine if an other-worldly creature was being used as a probe for an invasion of Earth or not. Many thought that this was the case, but Chicken Little knew his contact would be able to give him the correct answer.
Eventually he received the correct counter code to "The sky is falling" from the mole who informed him that there was no invasion. It was merely an alien entrepeneur who was the advance agent to make a deal to sell the formula for what we know know as Velcro to our world.
For his efforts, Chicken Little (not his real name) was awarded the Honored Colleague Award by the CIA. - Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
➨ I am a student in the St. Petersburg College Digital Arts Program specializing in video production. The program is small, but well-staffed and supplied. The video faculty includes Eric Hulsizer, a former Channel 8 cameraman who photographed "Channel 8 On Your Side," and Lisa Inserra of Cox Media (the company that owns Valpack) who is active in producing television commercials for her company's clients.
➨ In my program, I've studied drawing, camera operation, scripting, digital imaging, programming basics, copyright law, video editing, website design, sound production and editing. One of my professors says the program is the best of its kind in the Tampa Bay area and I think he's right.
➨ Please, please, put the word out to others so that this fine program will be better known. Also tell the world that the SPC digital arts program has a wide range of students. It doesn't matter what your heritage is or whether you are still in high school or old enough for Medicare. Thanks.
➨ Kathy Baird
Dear Kathy;
I looked at one of the videos your co-students made. The gentlemen submitted their work to a PopTent challange. Their video, an advertisement for an urgent care company, won $10,000. It looks to me like the St. Petersburg Collede digital arts program is filled with both talented professors and students. I did notice that your motion graphics course is geared to web design. I would suggest that the school offer a course in Aftereffects from Adobe. This program is more geared to the needs of video students.
➨Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
You guys have been busy, posting every day! What are you anyway, a daily? But that's not my question. In your story on stadium horns, you called them vuvuzwelas, what is that funny looking symbol after the photo credits. Don't take this the wrong way, but it looks like bull. Which much of your paper really is.
K. Brown
Dear Mr. Brown:Your comment reminded me of the guy who was using our little paper to line his parakeet cage.
Let's get this straight. A vuvuzwala sounds like this. Bad huh? A kuduuzela (original tribal spelling - it's Kuduzela in English) sounds sweet like this. The imagage is not a bull, it's a gnu. This is the symbol for a licensed image.2.1 Here's a larger image:
2.1
This is the symbol for a Gnu Free license. The image can be used freely, subject to some restrictive terms in the license, including crediting the photographer.
The Sun is published four times a year. Both equinoxes, International Picnic Day and International Underdog Day. The website is updated often. The paper has about 200 readers; the website quite a few more. Thanks for reading.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What is this stuff about Jim Cramer endorsing you hacks to "Jumpstart the Economy?" I saw the entire tape. It looks to me like he called on Curtis LeMay, Colonel Clearwater - and then realizing he had made a mistake - schluffed it into Colonel Kilgore. I bet you're gonna get your asses sued again. It does seem like good advise though. I'm going to look at getting a bike. $5 for gas sounds like a pretty good deal!!!!
Buck Turgeson
Dear Mr. Turgeson:
Jim Cramer doesn't make a lot of mistakes. (He did miss on CIT which went bankrupt a month after he touted it. And Wachovia shares went down 88 per cent, but hey, the bank is soon going to make a killing in foreclosed real estate anyway). Still he is known as a man who thinks on his feet. The old Tallahassee Democrat reporter must have had some real fire sparking in the synapses when he touted me for treasury. It was a great idea. I shoulda done this long ago. Click here to see his endorsement.
Our new campaign stresses using local resources and finding products to substitute for brand name products. We will also be puncturing the false notice that supermarkets are only making a few cents markup on their sales. Keep reading and we will show you how to make your dollars go further in this economy.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
I was surprised to see your front page today. Counter-point, then point? What gives? I thought it went point - counter point? And how could your policy be so divergent? PanchoTechador
Dear Mr. Techador,
The Sun is a diverse group. We have a senior editor who's as far right as Attila the Hun. In fact I would have put my money on LD Sledge if he went mano-o-mano with the Hun. John Ruane, author of the Liberal Manifesto, is probably left of Mao-Tse Tung. Our publisher, who was a memeber of the Bull Moose Party in Clearwater (till it died from lack of renewal) is in the middle. We write about what people are doing (instead of the traditional what happened to them - "if it bleeds it leads" approach), what the out-of-town so called Clearwater papers miss, and are heavy into arts and humor. Normally, we would put "point" first and "counter-point" second. But sometimes something lights a fire under us. That's what happened to the publisher with the Supreme Court decision. It's also what happeded to Mr. Ruane when he read what Mr. Perry wrote. Me? I think John Ruane is right. I hope he pens the next "Point" soon. Then one of the others can write the counter-point reply and we can have some fun around here.
Colonel Clearwater
My Dear Colonel Clearwater:
The purpose of this letter is to solicit you help in a matter of great importance to the American people.
I think we should drop this "under God" stuff from the Pledge of Allegiance and go back to the original pledge. This is just big government shoving religion down our throats. When the founding fathers wrote the pledge, they meant it to be without god. Don't you agree? I haven't put my real name on this letter in order to protect myself from the Obama-Nazis/Socialists who would come after me for saying this.
"Wild Bill" Steinhaus
Dear Wild Bill:
The founding fathers did not write the pledge. Francis Bellamy wrote it in 1892. He was a Baptist minister and a Christian socialist. Reverend Bellamy's original words are these:
"I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it
stands,one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
There have been some changes: "to" was inserted by law before "the Republic" in 1892. Then in 1923 the word "the" was inserted before "flag" and "of the United States" was inserted after "flag." In 1924 the words "of America" was added after "United States." In 1954 "under God" was put after the word "nation."
There's a couple other problems. President Obama is neither a Nazi or a Socialist. Also, Reverend Bellamy specified a way to salute the flag. Here's a photo of American school children using the original Bellamy salute:
I think the photo speaks for itself.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What do you think about the Egyptian revolution?
Pablo Pizzicato
Dear Pablo:
Well I think the events in Egypt are promising. I'm not worried about the Muslim Brotherhood. Fundamentalists, in any religion, are usually a reaction to what the followers perceive as injustice. And this is true with all revolutions too; they are about injustice. This doesn't mean Egyptian society and culture will necessarily change; it is still their culture and values. But in the long run any thing they make of it will be for their benefit (and not the benefit of the United States). Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Michele Bachman has stated:
"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love of liberty. You're the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord."
That happened in Massachusetts, not New Hampshire. Is this this dumbest thing she has said?
Harry Pong
Dear Mr. Pong:
No, the following statement was much dumber:
"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States."
She cited John Quincy Adams as an example. He was not a founding father. Many of the founding fathers were slave holders and the constitution they passed counted slaves as 3/5's of a person. Slavery wasn't abolished until the next century.
(For more of her quotes, go to Buzzfeed by clicking here).
Colonel Clearwater
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What's going on with The Tea Party movement. And what do you think about the health care vote.
Carlos Techador
Dear Senor Techador:
Your letter caused quite a stir in the pressroom. The editor and the political editor got into quite an argument about how to answer. When the publisher chimed in, the editor cut off a piece of his ear and I stepped in.
Tea Party Patriots are about nostalgia for the days of white power. Much like the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan after World War I, the Tea Party Patriots are people who believe they have lost their privileged status in American society and wish to thwart others hopes for the American dream.
Unfortunately, or fortunately (depending on which editor yells loudest) President Obama considers Wall Street, the banks, the Republicans in congress, and those with tea party policies as necessary players in the solution when they are, in fact, part of the problem.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
The House of Representatives is going to pass the new health care bill without a vote Sunday. Is that legal? Isn't this act proof that President Obama isn't effective.
M.S. Floyd
I can tell that you watch Faux News. This procedure is quite legal. It's been used by Republicans more often than Democrats. Both the Senior Citizens' Right to Work Act and the Family Medical Leave Act were passed this way. As a rule I don't quote fools, but even Glen Beck has admitted that the process IS a vote.
"They are going to VOTE for this damn thing on a Sunday, which is the Sabbath, during Lent... This is an affront to God." [emphasis added]
The United States has no established religion. Many religions have the Sabbath on Saturdays. For others, every day is a sabbath. At the inception of the Obama administration, Faux News communicated questioningly that the president was a terrorists because of a "fist bump" and that he was not really the president because of a few flubbed words in the oath ceremony.
What the administration is doing is creating a major reform of the the Amrican health care system. No one has ever done this before. The entrenched interests of the docs and the hospitals (the doc's workshop) have always prevented this. It's a major accomplishment.
That being said, there are problems with the bill. Psychiatrists are feeding at the trough more. This is especially worrisome since the Book of Human Ills - the list of treatable diseases - has a host of new ailments. There are people who are angry people. Now, it's a disease - Intermittent explosive disorder . Years ago, it was drapetomania - an slave's urge to escape captivity.
We will know on Sunday just how much health care is left in the bill after it's adopted. We urge the president to pursue major reform of the drug companies next.
In the mean time, I would suggest that you find a new news source. I recommend the BBC.
Colonel Clearwater
I've heard that Bill Gates has spent millions on developing a vaccine against malaria. I've heard some rumors, but was wondering if you know the facts.
Billy G.
Dear Billy,
It exists. The "Microsoft Vaccine" [my words, not Bill's] is in its last trial phase, called "Phase 3." Exactly how good Vacine 1.3 is has not been published. However, Mr. Gates reports that within three years, Vacine 2013 will be "partly effective." A fully effective vaccine, will not exist for 5 to 10 years, according to a recent BBC report.
More people have been killed by mosquitoes than all the bullets in war. Any effectiveness will save lives. Lets hope that the Vista Vaccine is better than the Vista software. I may sound sour here, not nearly sour as some. Look at this pie chart graphic.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Did President Obama move faster with the Haiti earthquake victims than President Bush did with the Katrina hurricane victims?
Bambi Baird
Yes, Bambi, he did. He even moved faster than Mr. Bush did on 9/11. President Obama is smart and his hands are full. Mr. Bush was slow and his head was empty.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
I'm worried. What's the biggest problem facing our country? Conservatism, Liberalism, religious extremism or corporatism? (I'm an Obama man, please withhold my name. Our boss has taken revenge against others like me.)
An American Patriot
There is no truth to the rumor that the root word of "patriot" is riot. I saw the survey.
The Founding Fathers were both conservative and liberals, and they made sure in the Constitution that religious extremists would never gain authority of the laws. But corporatism didn't exist back then. It has ruined our economy with phony finance and by shipping our industry overseas. Corporatism's greed is at the core of every U.S. problem from debt, healthcare, prisons and education.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
A recent Yahoo survey said the way to balance the national debt and lower the country's deficit is through the elimination of waste. What do you think? Doc Deveruaux
YaaaaaaaHooooooooooo!!!! I saw the survey. That 81% of the people think cutting waste and fraud would be enough to balance the budget and lower the debt is the problem. These things are just a drop in the bucket to the deficit and debt. The public is unbelievablely unknowledgeable. That is the problem.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Back when I got into journalism, the idea that a fistfight in a newsroom would turn into a news story was unthinkable. The guys in the sports department at the New York Daily News, they had so many, you wouldn't even look up. What's your paper's policy on hitting reporters?
Henry Allen
Dear Mr. Allen
I saw where you expressed surprise at coverage of your punching a reporter over at WaPo. It's similar here at the Sun. In fact, we have a sign posted in our news room that says "The beatings will continue until morale improves."
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater,
Sincerely,
Johnnie R.
Dear Johnnie;
Henry Kissinger, a Republican, won the Nobel Peach Prize too. And this even though 21,000 American soldiers died AND we invaded Cambodia. All on his watch.
Col. Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater,
Hi. I have Windows Vista and I hate it. It has been glitchy and a pain to use. Now they're coming out with something new to replace that dog. I need you advice. Should I stay with Vista or should I get the new stuff?
Sincerely,
Suzie
Dear Suzie;
You're not the only one who feels that way. Here's what you should do. Get a Mac and forget about Windows. If you can't do that, get ride of windows and reinstall XP. As far as Windows 7 is concerned, the Sun computer consultant, Kelly Wilson, says "Wait six months for Microsoft to get the bugs out." Given their sordid history of shipping products with problems, this sounds like good advice. If you need installation help or repairs give Kelly a call. 727-641-3764. He's a wizard.
Col. Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater,
Hi. I'm a liberal and I have heard Glen Beck speak on monopoly and such.
What he says makes me feel bad, but he seems so confident.
Should I take him seriously?
Sincerely,
Mac Heart of Clearwater
Dear Mac,
An oligarchy is similar to a monopoly except that instead of a one owner monopoly there are two, three or a few.
As to Mr. Beck, ignore his addictions and treatment. Ignore the fact that family members have become sick or committed suicide. Ignore his attention deficit disorder and his racist comments.
We should let Mr. Beck's words stand for themselves:
"O-- L-- I --G --A --R-- H. One letter is missing...The one that's missing is Y. I don't know if we're turning into an oligarchy or what we're turning into. But unless you ask "Why?" we're going to transform into something."
And now you can ignore Mr. Beck.
Colonel Clearwater
<===================>
Dear Colonel Clearwater,
I am in trouble with my bank on the mortgage. I was thinking about getting help from a loan modification helping company, but I'm worried about scams. What do you think"
Buck Turgeson
Dear Buck;
The Sun's editor, LD Sledge recently wrote the following. I hope it helps. Good luck to you.
"What is loan modification?
A mortgage lender may modify the mortgage for a homeowner in one or more of the following ways: Interest rate reduction, extension of loan terms, delinquent payment forgiveness, conversion of adjustable rate into fixed rate loans, principal reduction, and forbearance agreements.
Any of these methods can help the stressed homeowner on the brink of foreclosure and bankruptcy. Over ten percent of the homeowners in the United States are in foreclosure because they cannot pay their mortgage note on time. Many are in denial about their situation and refusing to accept their plight, they are paying their monthly note from their retirement or savings.
Everyone is a candidate for loan modification, even if they are not behind on payments. It doesnt affect ones credit. Some feel it is demeaning to even consider it, preferring to go into foreclosure, which is a stain on ones credit forever, and is worse than bankruptcy.
Banks do not want to own or hold property. They will compromise to avoid having a house in their inventory, and will negotiate. The government also pays the companies servicing mortgages for every loan they modify.
There are reputable loan modification experts who will help the beleaguered home owner who know how to negotiate the best deal for the homeowner. They charge a fixed fee, which varies between negotiation companies. Getting the interest reduced substantially, the monthly payments lowered, and delinquent payments forgiven can make a huge difference in a family budget, and a standard of living.
Dealing with the bank or mortgage company can be daunting. The individual homeowner may achieve a fair result, but he or she usually lacks experience needed to effect a significant change. It would pay to investigate these possibilities, and find a reputable company to negotiate the modification."
Colonel Clearwater, C.S.A., Rtd.
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Thanks for answering my last letter on torture. Any updates since then?
Have the Republicans admitted wrongdoing?
Phil Chestnut
Dear Phil;
No change.
Condoleezza Rice said "[President Bush] was very clear that we would do nothing -- nothing -- that was against the law or against our obligations internationally... He was only willing to authorize policies that were legal in order to protect the country," As Secretary of State, she was among the top Bush advisers who gave a green light to waterboarding. Reminds me of another, similar quote.
"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal," by Richard M. Nixon.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What's the big deal with torturing our 911 enemies in Iraq? Dick Cheney says the information worked and that President Obama should release the secret documents that say torture should work. What's your take on this?
Phil Chestnut
Dear Mr. Chestnut:
The former vice-president should not be airing the contents of any secret federal documents. I believe that's a crime. Secondly, his boss once said,
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Hey man! Obama is raising taxes on wealthy Americans up to a whopping 39.6%. That has to be socialism. It's looks to me like Rush was right again. As usual. What does your liberal rag of a newspaper have to say?
Please withhold my name. I work for a guy who actually likes your paper and I don't want to get axed. I saw where you did this for a democrat, I hope you have the integrity to do it for a republican.
Name Withheld by Request
Dear Withhold,
Obama isn't raising taxes on the rich. He's rolling the rate back in the direction it used to be.
End of Ronald Reagan's first term: 50%.
Under the administration of Richard Nixon: 70%.
In the administration of Dwight Eisenhower: 91%
"I hope he fails!" is the mantra of your party.
In the Clinton years it was "Get Clinton." No nominations approved, just tons of money spent to prosecute the man for an investment in which he lost some $80,000. There was a time when presidential sex lives were not part of the public press. Then a girl was egged into not sending her dress to the cleaners. This was not about the good of the country. It was about achieving a political agenda and the public good be damned. And that's where we are again. It's time to instill confidence, not to undermine it. Instead it will be four more years of astro-turfing, Faux News and rallying behind a moron to reinstate another era of greed, torture and war.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
Republicans are touting Rush Limbaugh as the philosophical and intellectual lynch pin of their party; a paragon of political analysis; and an all around good egg. What is your opinion?
Carlos Techador
Dear Seor Techador:
Thank you for your kind inquiry. I think Mr. Limbaugh is a raving lunatic who has helped trash the party of Abraham Lincoln. He is partly responsible for my leaving the party and joining the Bull Moose Party (which, alas, has expired in recent years, making me an independent.) I also think he is a great source of amusement. For example, this recent diatribe: "Jake Tapper is the one guy that's outside of the butt boy bubble in the White House press room." Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
What do you think of this?
There is a bill right now being introduced to the Florida Senate that would require all dogs and cats to be neutered by the age of four months. This would eliminate all the responsible hobby breeders, such as myself, from Florida, as we would not be able to pay the hundreds of dollars yearly required to keep intact animals. I would no longer breed Silkys. When you would be ready for your next dog, you would have to go out of state. And Florida's success in passage would embolden the Animal Rightists -- these are the guys who feel that you and your dog have EQUAL rights -- and they would work all the harder harder to get similar bills passed in every state. So then where would you get your next dog?
Now is the time to stand up and say -- no. California tried to pass such a bill requiring mandatory spay/neuter last year and it did not pass because there was a groundswell of outrage against it. I urge you, if you value your rights as a dog owner to contact your State Representative and State Senator and say no -- and tell them why.
I have attached excellent sample letters from the AKC to help you. They do need to be personalized, however! You can find your State Representative and State Senator by going on www.myforida.com.
So please, if you value your rights as a dog owner, let Tallahassee know loud and clear how you feel. Not only I thank you, but your next dog will thank you too.
Best, Sandy Mesmer
www.sandymesmer.com
www.bergstromgallery.com
Dear Sandy,
Thank you for your letter. I find Mr. Randolph's bill somewhat baffling. The proposed law penalizes pet owners across the board, whether they are responsible in regard to breeding or not. It also comes down heavily on mutts. I like mutts. They often come from the deep end of the gene pool. Here are forms to write both senators and representatives. Form Letter for Senator
Form Letter For Representative
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
If you're a Clearwater newspaper how come I can't find your paper anywhere? And how come your mail goes to Safety Harbor. What are you? Some kind of "out-of-town" newspaper?
C.P.
Dear Mr.CP:
For the print edition, send $25 to my agent, Moons of Pluto publishing company for a subscription (address above). It includes a free ad, link, obituary, etc. My agent has a Safety Harbor address because it's closer to his Clearwater home. The Sun is a Clearwater paper.
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
I see where a journalist, an Iraqi cameraman, threw his shoes at President Bush. This seems pretty outrageous to me. Isn't this a crime in Iraq? I mean, isn't the guy toast?
Do you guys at the Sun ever do anything rash?
Melvin Shatz
Dear Mr. Shatz:
Ohhhhh! That is a tough question. The US has promised freedom of speech for Iraq following the fall of Saddam, according to the Iraq press. Throwing shoes at someone is the worst insult an Arab can hurl. The TV station the guy worked for is arguing for his release on those grounds. He is being interrogated, so it is possible he is being tortured. The Human Rights Watch has reported that Iraq justice is failing in the fall of Saddam with pretrial torture, no speedy trial and no provision for an effective defense attorney. Of course on the other hand, if he had thrown his shoes at Saddam, death by pecking of crows would likely have been administered summarily.
We never do anything rash here at the Sun. But reporters used to be rash. In fact, back in the eighties the paper had a motto "We're Making News." We parody that with our extra editions ("We're Making Gnus" and "We Print All the Gnus That Fit.")
Currently, we do not prosecute presidential insulters in the USA. In our culture, however, throwing shoes at someone would be an assault (and battery if the shoes had hit the target).
You know how Barack Obama says that we only have one president at a time? Well Representative Barney Frank said that Barack Obama "...overstates the number of presidents we have."
By the way, our president was recently shoed in effigy in Iran."
Colonel Clearwater
Dear Colonel Clearwater:
I see where people accuse you of being a "liberal rag." I live out of town and haven't seen enough of your paper issues to form an opinion. I can say that your newspaper does seem like a cross between Boy's Life and The Onion.
Ron Saper
Dear Mr. Saper:
Thank you for your polite letter. Others are often more like Jerry Springer Show participants. I enclose a back issue for your enjoyment.
Colonel Clearwater
The artist, who can be seen approaching, makes her living from the sale of photographs. The important thing to realize is that when someone photographs their work (photos, art, whatever) it hurts their business and deprives them of income from their images.
Valuable links for election information:
Notice - The Tiki Culture Duo is no longer accepting engagements due to the recent death of Flautist - Composer Claude Kennedy (Master of Arts in Composition USF).
His bassist is in the Master of Fine Arts in Music and Sound Design program at San Francisco's Academy of Arts U.
Ceramic tile mosaics. Custom art to your specifications.
Geometric, pictorial designs on your floors, walls and ceilings.
Call Bill 727-492-8211
____________________________________________________________________________________________
Professional House Cleaning - Call Yulia 727-267-7830
Tutoring Math, English, Social Studies, GED, SAT Prep - $25 per hour - Teens and Adults - Contact John Ruane at 727-267-5666 or send e-mail to jruane2@tampabay.rr.com
______________________________________________________________
Tutoring by Bill Babbit 727-798-8982
High School Level History, mathematics, English,
College Level psychology, biology and ethics.
Experienced with special needs students
$10 - $15 per hour depending on subject
You can email me at bill_babbitt1999@yahoo.com
BRIANWARD
ACTING TEACHER
727-441-4022
BWard0012@gmail.net
Return to Front Page Ask Colonel Clearwater Humor Harvester Go to Top Fire News Food to Drive For
Established 1914
Clearwater's Oldest Newspaper
clearwat